Bowser State


Something to make you think twice about jumping on that first goomba [Bowser pic taken from]


It’s a cold night in the Mushroom Kingdom.

There are three stars in the sky, none of them shining as bright as they used to.

Next to one of the stars, a flag with the dragon king; its shell military green, its eyes fiery red.

The only other thing in the sky, the moon, shines a spotlight on a small cottage, bunched with other small cottages and a control tower, on an estate just past the mini-castle on World 1, Level 1.

We go in closer, swooping like a Stazi spy in a bird costume until we’re all the way inside the kitchen.

‘I told you, I can’t…’

‘Why not?’

‘He’s our leader, Aidan.’


‘It’s my job to follow his orders. You know that. He’s the leader, he makes the laws.’

‘I didn’t choose him.’


‘None of us did. He just took over.’

Goomba Joanna glances at the poster of the dragon’s face on the wall, pinned up beside another poster that’s either a child’s scribbling or modern art. The dragon’s eyes are paper and colour and don’t seem to be moving.

‘Quiet,’ she whispers.

‘Why? He’s not here.’

‘He’s everywhere.’

‘Nuh-huh.’ Goomba Aidan shuffles to the fridge and pulls out another beer. ‘He’s on World eight, Level four, fucking that princess.’ Continue reading