The sky was streaked with green slashes [safe pollution, the media called it] as I got back on the train and out of Jiyugaoka.
Just like before, all the seats were taken by a mix of school kids, mums with prams and geriatrics staring off into space, so I stood by one of the poles in the middle, thinking, semi-scrambling.
Yosh was right. It had been over three months, almost four. Never usually took this long to send out new games. Even during the bosses’ strike last year. Shit, Ryu, what were you doing over there?
A baby cried out from one of the prams, getting a quick, ‘there, there,’ from its mum before she looped back to her phone.
Wah, forget Ryu, what was I doing? I knew Yosh, knew him when I’d started this shit, where he was from, who he was with, the shit he’d probably done in Ikebukuro.
But, Yosh…he liked me, didn’t he? At least a little, and enough not to…not to what? What would he do exactly?
The train stopped and more people got on.
A man in a Silent Crimson 8 vest, carrying a guitar case on his back, moved in front of me and filled up most of my space.
Fuck, no apologies, no gestures.
‘Hey…’ I said, firm but not aggressive.
He shifted his feet, turning further away. The guitar case pushed against my chest, forcing me back a little. What the-…was he drunk?
I steadied myself against the bar behind and examined the intruder. Two, three inches shorter, weak shoulders, skinny arms…
Running off a lunatic hit of adrenaline, I moved forward, pushed the guitar case to the side and off his shoulder. The guy turned, annoyed, his mouth already open to call me something…then closed it fast when he saw how close I was.
No words back on my side, just a focused glare.
Kristeva’s abject.Continue reading