NOTE: Possibly the worst episode in Trek history if you don’t count those Ferengi episodes from DS9…it’s not horror specifically, but maybe it qualifies as its own kind of frightening…
Tom Paris sat in a shuttle, pressing some buttons, talking to Harry Kim and the half Klingon through his badge.
‘Warp 9 point 5…9 point 6…9 point…’ He paused. ‘Wait, what are we doing again?’
There wasn’t enough time for anyone to answer. Something technical on the shuttle, possibly the Nay-cells, came off and the whole thing blew itself to pieces.
Tom Paris sat on his ass surrounded by black squares and yellow lines.
Harry and the half Klingon said they were sorry, it was so close, but Tom didn’t seem to be listening. Either the dialogue was too tedious or he was amazingly self-involved.
‘What the hell is this bullshit?’ he said to his hands. ‘Warp Ten? Lizard sex? Directed by David Lynch, maybe, but not this guy.’
‘I’m right here, RD,’ said the director.
‘Sorry, man. I’m just depressed, ignore me.’
‘It’s the script. I’m getting a serious ‘TNG season 1′ vibe, know what I mean?’
‘I don’t know though…maybe you could go across the lot and ask Ron Moore to take a quick swing at it?’
‘Doubtful. No Klingons, see.’
‘He could add some…’
‘Sorry, RD, best just to keep your head down until big tits turns up.’
‘Nah, the Borg lady.
‘We’re gonna go plant the cameras in the next scene.’ Continue reading