TV doesn’t live here anymore // Thomas Stolperer


Note: read this the same way you might read a Tyson Bley poem

There’s more where that came from. Janet, how could you? The car overheated on the freeway – and Roper’s niece?- on the living room couch. I have this friend that owes me a favor. If you need me I’m right out here. Get it on top – I can’t. I’m sure you’ll find your Paradise Towers someday.

Tripper! See, nothing’s going on, just like in our apartment. She had these great..Danes. I’m gonna kill Larry. Uh, Greedy…I mean Gretchen. You Are So Beautiful, that’s my favorite song. OK, it’s gonna be a right cross and it’s coming now. No, Elmo don’t go in there! A dollar for three but this one’s on me. The Duchess! Mr. Furley? – Aunt Becky?! What is a Jack’s Bistro?

Thank you for that wonderful lie. Well I never… -and you probably never will. Oh, I’m sure nobody saw that show – hi Mom, how are things in San Diego? Listen here shorty. Any more noise and you kids are out! I think you should do it – what!? Janet! Honk if you like what you see -hey Larry, honk honk. And Chrissy, try to cut down on the low cut dresses – gee, they’re already cut down about as far as they can go. Continue reading